Friday, December 30, 2011

Long time no see and surviving goodbyes

Pryce is here! That is really why I have not updated! I have been so busy hanging with Pryce, working and looking for a second job that I just put this on the back burner, but it is okay! Cause I am back ;]
Pryce leaves Sunday and I am sad as heck, but I have decided I am not gonna let it get to me as much as last time.. or at least I am gonna try not too.
These are the reasons why I need to be able to move on from it (and not cry myself to sleep every night):
1.) Pryce is doing something he really loves and it makes him happy, and therefor I need to do my best to be happy and supportive and I cant do that when I am a wreck.
2.) I am strong and need to work hard in life right now anyways, this hopefully includes school too and I am gonna keep busy and need my whole concentrations. Although Pryce would help me get through these things, I need to learn to be independent too.
3.) Life goes by pretty fast and I have this time where I am with my family and when I hopefully marry Pryce someday I wont be able to drive a few blocks to see them.
4.) I need to learn how to be away from him for future deployments.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Fourteen Days and What's your song!

FOURTEEN DAYS until I get to be kissed again, I get to be cuddled with again, until I hear his voice.
<3
Anyways, amazing song, amazing band, link up! :]

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled in one

Wow, I cant believe Thanksgiving is on Thursday. Meaning in about a month Pryce will be with me, I am so excited!!! And it helps since I have been really lonely lately, and feeling a little weathered down.
I also threw together a Christmas layout for my blog, although it needs some serious TLC as of the moment since I really just designed it in photoshop without seeing the affect. Gah. So I have work to do! But it is almost four in the morning and I have work tomorrow! So I really should just be getting to bed.
I have lost a LOT of blog members which bums me out since that means that I HAVE been really neglecting you guys, that is soo not my intentions. I love reading your blogs! But I find that the blogging world can be so busy and hard to keep up with! But, I did just start this to write. So here I am writing my feelings. hah.
I hope everyone is doing well and has an AMAZING Thanksgiving because I know each and everyone of you deserve it!
Love,

Monday, November 14, 2011

Military Quotes and layouts

"Military relationships are the product of many tears born both in happiness and despair, nights alone wondering where he is, if he's safe. It's looking at pictures, knowing that's the only way I can see his face, calling my voicemail to hear his voice, and not washing his clothes until they've lost his scent.
But it's all worth it in the end, because I know I have one of the purest loves in the world because my Sailor truly knows the meaning of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, not only to the U.S. Navy, but to me. And that makes everything worthwhile.

"I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: 'I served in the United States Navy.'"

President John F. Kennedy
EXPECT, I new layout soon because I have gotten better and I am surging with ideas. 
I made Mrs. Brittany Dawsons layout.
Here is her blog, check it out and let me know what you think of the layout and what not!! http://mylifeasasailorsprincess.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Resentment

Hello everyone! I feel like a horrible follower lately! I want to be able to post on all of your guys blog posts, but I really have been only posting on those who post on mine.
Lately, I have been feeling really resentful, that is the only way to describe it. I know it is unfair of me to be angry about his decisions, but it is just that his decisions keep hurting me and it is devastating. I feel like I am constantly asking myself what is wrong with me, why I am not good enough. Like it is my fault he wants to wait forever to get married, I feel almost, rejected. I know, forever is being dramatic but I am just so past the point in my life that I give a shit about being rational, it is stupid, the way people ration.
I am not stopping anything in getting in my way of being happy. 
I don't care about odds, I don't care about being wise, I don't even care about what people will say and I usually really care about what my family thinks. Actually, I am pretty positive they would all understand.
After everything I have gone through, I just want to slow down and enjoy life and work towards my goals and come home to a person I care about.
I don't blame him, I am just so past being young, and I know he is not. I have seen so much and been forced to grow up so fast because the people I trusted walked out on me that I know what I want in life. He, on the other hand, is still figuring it out, like a normal healthy person.
I don't want to party and hang out with my friends all the time, I want to save up for a decent car and get to spend time with the person I want to spend my life with. I know that I am the only person who is fighting for my future and I just want to feel like someone is on my side, that I am not so alone.
I want security.
He brings me security.
I want to feel protected.
But my nature I am the protector, I am at odds with myself.
I guess maybe it is good that I  am learning to get these things on my own, I am a strong person and nothing is going to stop me from succeeding and finding the security and life that I deserve. I know I don't need him to give me that, but it would help so much.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Gentlemen

These were so cute and true I wanted to post some of my favorites and link to the blog, I really think that a girl writes these though. Or a guy who doesn't follow them, I just think there are some things that are hard to not do. Even for us ladies. Anyways link: http://therulesofagentleman.tumblr.com

Thursday, November 3, 2011

What's your song? Link up!


A classic, Buddy Holly understands me, he is my soul mate from the 50's time zone ;]. This will be mine and Pryce's wedding song.
I love it. :]

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Barista!



I have been making Coffee! Whoot! I LOVE making coffee, I like almost all of my co-workers. Really the only exception is someone who just hasn't caught on yet, and it is not really that I dislike him, but that he is annoying because I am always picking up his slack.
I LOVE being able to talk to people and be around people, I am probably the best out of all the new barista's (since it was a grand opening, we are all new) with people, I forgot how easily customer service came to me. I worked at Wendy's for a month and they were always threatening me that they'd put me in the Wendy's costume.. no thanks.
Previously, working with kids was so tiring and when I was working, it felt like FOREVER. Working as a barista the time flies by and really I think I am becoming a happier person. I think this is the happiest I have felt since before Pryce left. Not AS happy as I was when he was around but it really is helping me cope with him being so far away.
Although, he is feeling a little down lately.. :\ Which is really sucky because I am not there to make it better. I know it is just a phase that he is going through while getting use to being away from everyone.. But it is really saddening me! I feel it when he is down, I don't feel better until he feels better. I am gonna send him a care package here soon though. I am hoping it will help, I love him so much and I want him to stay strong x) I am sure he will be fine because he is strong. He is just so hard on himself, he expects himself to be perfect, no one is perfect!
I know he reads this! So hopefully he will read this one :]
So, how do you guys deal with your sailors/ soliders/ airman / marine when they are down? I am sure there is moments for all our military men? <3 Thanks everyone, I will try to catch up with everyone! :]

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Things I live by

Love:

This quote:
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." -Steve Jobs


Giving this quote to heartbroken friends:

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

(Self explanatory)-


Supporting the United States Navy:

My Kiwi: **at 3 weeks


Best Friend: 

I have been really busy, I will write and update on how work is going and stuff soon! I have a lot to tell you guys about. Hope everyone is well, THANKS for all the love on the last blog <3. 
 Working a ton, 23 hours in the past two days. WHEW. 




Friday, October 14, 2011

Pictures

Just wanted everyone know that I am still alive ;] 
Just been running around doing stuff and what not. Being busy is a pain. I do not believe I mentioned the new layout, I am hoping that everyone likes it :]
Today, I though I'd add some visuals of things I have been doing.

Babysitting this little dude, that is Pryce's sisters cat (my kitty-babies brother): 

Braiding hair and taking to many pictures of myself with the top of my head cut out to hide my growing roots ;] I waiting to do my hair again til I can do my extensions:

 
Pryce found out his rate!!!!!!!!!!!! And it is what he wanted, although I wanted him to be an STS:

Taking pictures of my baby cat, WAY to many pictures of her.. although she is barely a baby anymore almost a half year old! :]

I hope everyone is doing well! I will try to catch up with you guys tonight!
Love, <3

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Thursday Link up #33



I have not listened to this song in awhile but I wanted  to share it 'cause it is so cute. :]

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Kindle and nightmares

SO, I will start with my creepy nightmare, I will be vague on it since explaining it will require more back story. My life would be a whole book series if I tried to write it out. *rolls eyes* :p
Anyways, yes I had horrible nightmares about a person I am glad who has long left my life, and will never return. He was in my dream hurting people and this time around there was no way I was going to let it happen. So as you imagine it was a very dramatic dream. When everything got scary I hid myself in the bathroom and called Pryce to come save me and he did :]. My nightmares have reoccurring patterns since a very young age.
Reoccurring pattern #1: Missing a bus and being stuck at school for the night. I have dreamed of this since as long as I can remember. I would have no way of getting home and be lost and stuck.
Reoccurring pattern #2: Last nights nightmare was one of these, something horrible happens and I start trying to call people to come help me, this last dream was different because normally no one answers and I am once again stuck and alone.
Reoccurring pattern #3: I am just gonna group my terror nightmares all together, I am glad I don't have them anymore. They are hard to explain but scary as hecka.
But yes, this nightmare was important to me because it shows me how much I lean on Pryce. I did not even try to call anyone else, in my previous dreams I would call six or seven people and no one would answer, I was always dealing with things on my own. But now I have Pryce. My nightmares are not nearly as frequent as they use to be, I was surprised I had a reoccurring one. I really think my dreams mean something, they show me how a view the world.. deep down.
ANYWAYS, KINDLE KINDLE!!! YAYAYAY.
I am getting the Kindle Fire when it comes out, I am so excited. Pryce is paying for half of it as an early Christmas present, I am so excited. It is scratch resistant and has a dual core processor.
It is small and not as fancy as some, but I cant afford those and quite frankly this is all I need. Something to read with, check what I am following on blogger ;] , pull up bracelets hold scheduling stuff, ect. 
I am really excited. It comes out November 15th!! WOOT

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Cure for AIDS??

So, I first want to say that I have been pretty busy and have not been commenting on others blogs and posting that much! But I assure you I shall catch up when I have the time :]
So today has been a pretty dull day but these last few days I have been doing training for my new job at Peet's, not only do I have to do Peet's training but I also have to do Deli and Boar's Head training, which are long and not really my thing! I am not much of a meat person but I am being positive, the more I know the better!
Anyways, anyways, I was watching the Phillip Defranco Show (great great youtube channel) and he talked about how researchers just completed a year long test of a new vaccine to treat AIDS/HIV on HIV- free volunteers, 26 out of 30 volunteers it was successful! :O I am so amazed at science! Can you guys believe that their might be a real cure for AIDS/HIV right around the corner? That HIV/AIDS will be a thing of the past? Amazing, I am praying for this vaccine to be the one for the millions of people who are affected by this disease.
Here is a link to an article about it: AIDS/HIV Vaccine
Also, I was wondering how my followers found followers, it is very difficult because even when I comment on others blogs multiple times they still seem to ignore me. It is kind of annoying, I mean yes, I understand you are busy but still. :\ and then there is the fact that there is barely any bloggers that are going through the same things as me. I guess I have to remember I am here to blog not to get support. But sometimes, I think it would be a nice a luxury to make some friends. Sigh, I made a ton of support groups for my boot camp buddies and it really helped but I have been unable to find that outlet now that he is at a- school.
Anyways, it is late and I need to go to sleep. [:

Friday, September 30, 2011

Link Up

Deciding to try to link up this week and post a song. I posted this one because I think every girl wants their man to be this proud of them. (: I will post a blog that does not just consist of music videos tomorrow ;)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Wanted to Share

I am really impressed with this song, beautiful song with great lyrics. Great for Military loved ones. :]



Monday, September 26, 2011

Workin'

Hey, sorry about the rant on my last post, it is unlike me to be so bitter, it can just be tough. But I am tough too and I know I can make it through anything life throws at me.
Today was a good day! I am starting a new job soon and training has begun! Today was my first day or orientation and tomorrow is my second, at 8:00am tomorrow :| Bummeeerr. I am not a early morning person :]
I will be working at Peets, woohoo, for a grocery store!
Please give me feedback on my new layout, it took me awhile to do and I want to know the good and the bad. But be aware, I still have a few minor adjustments I am working on, but it is almost done.
If I get the layout thing down I might start making layouts on requests for free, to people who need them and don't want to have to spend money on one.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Always on the sidelines

Today was another difficult day for me, I finally told Pryce how I felt about what I want for the future. But it is clear to me that that does not fit into what he has planned. This aggravates me and hurts deeply, so today was a day of unlimited amounts of stress. I am the kind of person that will try to make everyone happy and make everything right. I always try to help people and I put their happiness above mine, so maybe that is why I so readily accept waiting around. He wants to wait two years to get married, and along with this comes tons of issues. Number one, my feelings, it really hurts me to think that he does not want to be with me after two and a half year together, it makes me feel like he is still unsure, when really I don't think that there is much to be unsure about. I have been around for some of his lowest lows and I have watched him change and stayed by his side through anything he needed me too. Number two, that means I am going to spend two years alone, I know I can deal with deployments, I am strong. But knowing that I will be alone and far away from him for two years and only seeing him on holidays kills me. I don't know how he can stand this idea, I really don't. Number three I am trying to go to school, and the program that I want to get in is a two year commitment program and that is important to me, my hope is he will get stationed in Bangor base in Washington State but I don't know. And the fact is that most young, single, submarine sailors get shipped to Japan for up to six months. Meaning, I am going to have to wait to do what I want to do, if he'd marry me sooner than he'd have a better chance at getting stationed in Washington and I already know which school I want to go to up there.
But apparently those things don't come into considerations. Quite honestly, I know I will deal with the pain and suffering. I just don't see why I have to.

Facing Fears and Dealing with Stress

These last few days have been better, in some ways. Mostly because I have found a few ways to entertain myself, including this blog. I have done a few renovations on the design, but I still have a lot more planned, so hooyah for an even better functioning blog! :]
I really appreciate the comments on my blog, it is nice to know that I am not alone, that there are others who are going through the same things as me. I cant wait to get to know new people in the same situation!
My other activities has been scrap booking and taking pictures of my baby cat, Kiwi.
Isn't she just adorable? She will be 5 months on October 7th :]
In other news, I faced a fear today, my fear of needles, and got my ears pierced! I got green earring because that is Pryce's favorite color! I know he is not here to see me with my ears pierced but still! I am so proud of myself, I reacted pretty well and only felt a little nauseated.
Well, still much to work on! Including a signature!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Why things are worth blogging

I don't think that I am an exceptional blogger or writer, but I do feel as though I have a lot to talk about. And why else blog other then to let my feelings out, if people do or do not listen, it does not really matter. I am not sure if I am going to be blogging as much as I like or not either.
But anyways, this blog is about my life being a Sailors Girlfriend. Sadly along with the happy times there is rough times, my boyfriend just graduated boot camp last Friday and I am ecstatic about being able to text him. But sadly calls are rare still and I have spent most of the last three days pitying myself. Which is unlike me, but my relationship as a Navy girlfriend makes things extra difficult on me, the military pushes people into marrying young, granting those who are married separation and housing pay, along with being more likely to get stationed where you'd like. I have always been a careful person, not impulsive in any way, defiantly not on getting married young, but even I am wanting marriage. It feels like it will be a security blanket, like a promise to me that I am not waiting for no reason, that there will be a less chance I will be away from the person that I love so much.
Me and Pryce have been together for over two years, we were seventeen when we started dating and were best friends for a long while before that. He is currently in "a school" and will be there for a year, all the way on the other side of the country from me. Plane tickets cost 400 dollars round trip months in advance, I have considered moving there, but honestly that would be a very lonely idea since he does not have much time off away from class. That and costs, jobs, and the other obvious reason on moving on an impulse. But hey, I can day dream cant I?
I will have a better, navy inspired layout for my blog later. I have some cool ideas :] So we shall see how that goes.
<3