Another Freebie :]

I have been pretty busy lately; the good kind of busy though.
First off, school starts in April, I have been working on getting all my classes lined up and my scores transferred from my old school. I am super excited about it too because I have always loved learning and school in general.
Second, I work for Fred Meyer (it is an west coast high quality/untrashy Wal-Mart) and they have a lot of room for growth of the employees, since that is their goal. Anyways, because of my employment at Freddie’s I have been given the opportunity to become a Pharmacy Tech for them. It is exciting news because it pays pretty well and you usually need to go to school to get a job as a Pharm Tech. So I have been working on getting the stuff approved through the state to allow me to work back there. :^] I am super excited. It is not written in stone yet but hopefully it will be soon ;]

Also, the freebie I promised ;] It is a redo, not MY top ten,but definitely some good reasons. ;] Except the taking orders one, that one is not true with Pryce at all. The one I made:  

 This is the original, I DID NOT MAKE THIS ONE. Just wanted to share it too even though there is only NINE(9!!!!) not ten. x]

Valentines day is just another day when you have to be far away from the person you love. ♥

Here are some goodies for you guys :]

PLEASE, if you want to request something feel free. :]

This one is a lot larger, please click on it to view full size. <3

Cover for Facebooks new facebook page design, click to see bigger!! :]]] Enjoy

Please keep in mind that these are free to use but I love getting credit and would love more people to get to know me and be able to see my future creations. I simple link to me would be appreciated. :]

Thanksgiving and Christmas rolled in one

Wow, I cant believe Thanksgiving is on Thursday. Meaning in about a month Pryce will be with me, I am so excited!!! And it helps since I have been really lonely lately, and feeling a little weathered down.
I also threw together a Christmas layout for my blog, although it needs some serious TLC as of the moment since I really just designed it in photoshop without seeing the affect. Gah. So I have work to do! But it is almost four in the morning and I have work tomorrow! So I really should just be getting to bed.
I have lost a LOT of blog members which bums me out since that means that I HAVE been really neglecting you guys, that is soo not my intentions. I love reading your blogs! But I find that the blogging world can be so busy and hard to keep up with! But, I did just start this to write. So here I am writing my feelings. hah.
I hope everyone is doing well and has an AMAZING Thanksgiving because I know each and everyone of you deserve it!
Love,

Resentment

Hello everyone! I feel like a horrible follower lately! I want to be able to post on all of your guys blog posts, but I really have been only posting on those who post on mine.
Lately, I have been feeling really resentful, that is the only way to describe it. I know it is unfair of me to be angry about his decisions, but it is just that his decisions keep hurting me and it is devastating. I feel like I am constantly asking myself what is wrong with me, why I am not good enough. Like it is my fault he wants to wait forever to get married, I feel almost, rejected. I know, forever is being dramatic but I am just so past the point in my life that I give a shit about being rational, it is stupid, the way people ration.
I am not stopping anything in getting in my way of being happy. 
I don't care about odds, I don't care about being wise, I don't even care about what people will say and I usually really care about what my family thinks. Actually, I am pretty positive they would all understand.
After everything I have gone through, I just want to slow down and enjoy life and work towards my goals and come home to a person I care about.
I don't blame him, I am just so past being young, and I know he is not. I have seen so much and been forced to grow up so fast because the people I trusted walked out on me that I know what I want in life. He, on the other hand, is still figuring it out, like a normal healthy person.
I don't want to party and hang out with my friends all the time, I want to save up for a decent car and get to spend time with the person I want to spend my life with. I know that I am the only person who is fighting for my future and I just want to feel like someone is on my side, that I am not so alone.
I want security.
He brings me security.
I want to feel protected.
But my nature I am the protector, I am at odds with myself.
I guess maybe it is good that I  am learning to get these things on my own, I am a strong person and nothing is going to stop me from succeeding and finding the security and life that I deserve. I know I don't need him to give me that, but it would help so much.

What's your song? Link up!

A classic, Buddy Holly understands me, he is my soul mate from the 50's time zone ;]. This will be mine and Pryce's wedding song.

I love it. :]

Things I live by

Love:

This quote:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." -Steve Jobs

Giving this quote to heartbroken friends:

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

(Self explanatory)-

Supporting the United States Navy:

My Kiwi: **at 3 weeks

Best Friend: 

I have been really busy, I will write and update on how work is going and stuff soon! I have a lot to tell you guys about. Hope everyone is well, THANKS for all the love on the last blog <3. 

 Working a ton, 23 hours in the past two days. WHEW. 

Thursday Link up #33

I have not listened to this song in awhile but I wanted  to share it 'cause it is so cute. :]

Kindle and nightmares

SO, I will start with my creepy nightmare, I will be vague on it since explaining it will require more back story. My life would be a whole book series if I tried to write it out. *rolls eyes* :p
Anyways, yes I had horrible nightmares about a person I am glad who has long left my life, and will never return. He was in my dream hurting people and this time around there was no way I was going to let it happen. So as you imagine it was a very dramatic dream. When everything got scary I hid myself in the bathroom and called Pryce to come save me and he did :]. My nightmares have reoccurring patterns since a very young age.
Reoccurring pattern #1: Missing a bus and being stuck at school for the night. I have dreamed of this since as long as I can remember. I would have no way of getting home and be lost and stuck.
Reoccurring pattern #2: Last nights nightmare was one of these, something horrible happens and I start trying to call people to come help me, this last dream was different because normally no one answers and I am once again stuck and alone.
Reoccurring pattern #3: I am just gonna group my terror nightmares all together, I am glad I don't have them anymore. They are hard to explain but scary as hecka.
But yes, this nightmare was important to me because it shows me how much I lean on Pryce. I did not even try to call anyone else, in my previous dreams I would call six or seven people and no one would answer, I was always dealing with things on my own. But now I have Pryce. My nightmares are not nearly as frequent as they use to be, I was surprised I had a reoccurring one. I really think my dreams mean something, they show me how a view the world.. deep down.
ANYWAYS, KINDLE KINDLE!!! YAYAYAY.
I am getting the Kindle Fire when it comes out, I am so excited. Pryce is paying for half of it as an early Christmas present, I am so excited. It is scratch resistant and has a dual core processor.

It is small and not as fancy as some, but I cant afford those and quite frankly this is all I need. Something to read with, check what I am following on blogger ;] , pull up bracelets hold scheduling stuff, ect. 

I am really excited. It comes out November 15th!! WOOT

Always on the sidelines

Today was another difficult day for me, I finally told Pryce how I felt about what I want for the future. But it is clear to me that that does not fit into what he has planned. This aggravates me and hurts deeply, so today was a day of unlimited amounts of stress. I am the kind of person that will try to make everyone happy and make everything right. I always try to help people and I put their happiness above mine, so maybe that is why I so readily accept waiting around. He wants to wait two years to get married, and along with this comes tons of issues. Number one, my feelings, it really hurts me to think that he does not want to be with me after two and a half year together, it makes me feel like he is still unsure, when really I don't think that there is much to be unsure about. I have been around for some of his lowest lows and I have watched him change and stayed by his side through anything he needed me too. Number two, that means I am going to spend two years alone, I know I can deal with deployments, I am strong. But knowing that I will be alone and far away from him for two years and only seeing him on holidays kills me. I don't know how he can stand this idea, I really don't. Number three I am trying to go to school, and the program that I want to get in is a two year commitment program and that is important to me, my hope is he will get stationed in Bangor base in Washington State but I don't know. And the fact is that most young, single, submarine sailors get shipped to Japan for up to six months. Meaning, I am going to have to wait to do what I want to do, if he'd marry me sooner than he'd have a better chance at getting stationed in Washington and I already know which school I want to go to up there.
But apparently those things don't come into considerations. Quite honestly, I know I will deal with the pain and suffering. I just don't see why I have to.

Why things are worth blogging

I don't think that I am an exceptional blogger or writer, but I do feel as though I have a lot to talk about. And why else blog other then to let my feelings out, if people do or do not listen, it does not really matter. I am not sure if I am going to be blogging as much as I like or not either.
But anyways, this blog is about my life being a Sailors Girlfriend. Sadly along with the happy times there is rough times, my boyfriend just graduated boot camp last Friday and I am ecstatic about being able to text him. But sadly calls are rare still and I have spent most of the last three days pitying myself. Which is unlike me, but my relationship as a Navy girlfriend makes things extra difficult on me, the military pushes people into marrying young, granting those who are married separation and housing pay, along with being more likely to get stationed where you'd like. I have always been a careful person, not impulsive in any way, defiantly not on getting married young, but even I am wanting marriage. It feels like it will be a security blanket, like a promise to me that I am not waiting for no reason, that there will be a less chance I will be away from the person that I love so much.
Me and Pryce have been together for over two years, we were seventeen when we started dating and were best friends for a long while before that. He is currently in "a school" and will be there for a year, all the way on the other side of the country from me. Plane tickets cost 400 dollars round trip months in advance, I have considered moving there, but honestly that would be a very lonely idea since he does not have much time off away from class. That and costs, jobs, and the other obvious reason on moving on an impulse. But hey, I can day dream cant I?
I will have a better, navy inspired layout for my blog later. I have some cool ideas :] So we shall see how that goes.
<3